His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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