Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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