isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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