What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
