Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
