I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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