matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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