have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
