What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
