Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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