hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
