I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
