I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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