The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
