Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
