I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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