Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
