he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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