Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
