You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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