Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
