we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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