So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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