watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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