you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
and you fell through a lawn chair
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
