So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
