we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
