my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
