Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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