At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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