thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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