dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
