You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
