i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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