Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was like eating out sand paper
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
