This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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