he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
