Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
