were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
