i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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