Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
