I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
