we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
