I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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