I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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