Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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