i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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