i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
