we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
