two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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