Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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